Superstitious

I took a break from blogging for a day or two. Mostly because I started to feel like talking/thinking about all this ovulation stuff was starting to scare the actual event away. I’m still not entirely sure what’s going on inside my body, but I’m allowing, and partially forcing, myself to be indifferent about it at this point. I got my hopes up towards the middle of last week when my temperature spiked up above my coverline, only to have my hopes crushed by the crashing back down of my temperature the next day, where it stayed for a few days in a row. I’ve read into every little detail and every little twinge that my body has made or done… Oh my, full breasts. Is that a sign of ovulation, or am I getting fat? Hmmm… that pain in my abdominal region, particular to the left side? Could that be ovulatory pains, or is it just gas? Wow, I’m really gassy (haahaa… TMI, sorry!), maybe that, too, is a sign of impending ovulation!

Basically my mind is my own worst enemy.

So, for a few days, I just, stopped. I stopped reading fertility forums. I stopped consulting books. I stopped, or tried my best to stop, questioning every sign and symptom. I feel like this is all building to some awesome finale at the end of this post where I celebratory, internet style shout: I OVULATED! But, my friends, no such ending is coming to you today. I am suspicious that something happened yesterday or today, but really only time will tell whether I’m right or not, and truthfully? As it stands? My thermometer, and every possible stick available to pee on, has it in for me right now. So my best guess is that I’ve experienced the placebo effect and I’m the same as I’ve been for the past 26 days. No worries though, guys, because this just means what we did this time doesn’t work, and maybe something needs to change next week. Come day 35, we’ll know for sure.

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