Today was a game changer guys. The funny part is, I didn’t cry. I didn’t get wailing upset. I just thought to myself, “Well. Big shocker. But not really.” And went about my morning.
This morning I received a phone call at 8:30. It was my RE’s nurse. Yesterday were my Cycle 10 labs (remember? The CloClo challenge? They were specifically checking to see if the CloClo was affecting my hormones like it should be). The nurse had that tone. You know, the one they get when they definitely don’t have any good news and are trying to ease you into it. She told me my labs pretty much indicate that nothing is going on down in Ov-land, then she asked if I felt like anything was going on down there. My answer was no. Then she told me that around right now? CD 10/11ish? My estradiol should be somewhere near, at, or around 100, IF my oves were responding to the CloClo properly. Mine? Was at 43. 43 y’all. That’s pretty pathetic.
Then she gave me my options. Option 1: Ride this cycle out. Some PCOS-ers are “late bloomers” and don’t respond until later in the cycle (I’m pretty sure she referenced you, Lauren! Not using your name or any specific details though- just saying they had another patient with PCOS trigger as late as day 28 or 29, so maybe I was a late bloomer too. She was trying to console me, I think. I totally wanted to say, “I THINK I KNOW THAT GIRL! WE’RE INTERNET PALS!” But I didn’t- because there’s a chance they have several girls who trigger late like that. Anyway, I digress.) So yeah- I could wait it out and we could do labs next week to see how my hormones are.
Option 2: Start adding in injections. She explained the risk of this was hyper stimulating the oves and having far too many eggs develop and having to cancel the cycle. It’s a fine line, she said, and you have to find the right balance of what works just right. Like Goldilocks.
Here are my thoughts: Option 1, while conservative, is likely going to be a no-go for us. Why? Because we waited. And waited. And waited. And delayed last cycle on my call, because I believed I was a late bloomer and surely SOMETHING would happen if we just waited long enough. We waited almost 50 days and in all of the labs drawn, including the last one, ovulation never even remotely occurred. I just don’t want to waste another 35-50 days waiting on something that doesn’t appear to be happening, and then another 10 or 11 more to jump start my period so we can start on a different regimen. That’s two months down the drain. Years of infertility go by quicker when each failed cycle takes two whole months. Injectables? Yea, they’re leaning towards the big guns. They can put an entire cycle in the trash if they work too well. But at this point we couldn’t even do IUI if we wanted because we still have no idea how to make my ovaries do what they’re supposed to do. I’d rather make them do TOO much of what they’re supposed to do and cancel a cycle knowing that THAT works but we need to scale down slightly, than go through a whole cycle to confirm what we probably already know- that the CloClo doesn’t work.
But that decision is currently on hold because THEN the nurse asked me if I’ve ever had an ultrasound done on my oves. The answer is no. I’ve never had an ultrasound done on my oves. In fact, no one has ever officially confirmed my shady diagnosis of PCOS handed down to me in 2005 with little to no concrete evidence (seriously y’all- like, nothing. Not even most of the correct blood work). My RE’s nurse is really very confident that I do indeed have the PCOS, given my completely non-compliant oves and my AMH level taken recently, but when she learned about my lack of ultrasound she immediately asked me to come in for one. She then bet me $50 that they’re polycystic. I’m not taking that bet. I know I’ll lose.
So tomorrow I get my first ever ultrasound bright and early at 6:15am, and some more blood work. Then, we discuss the options. I’m somehow incredibly not surprised by today’s developments. I’m just not. Of course I’m moving on to injectables. It would be FAR to easy to get pregs by just taking a couple pills, much less just having sex, right?