This is not a complaining post. This is a crazy, paranoid, scared post. Just to give you a heads up.
Yesterday was my 27th birthday. I wish I could say that it was an awesome day, but several things went wrong, least of which being a Spanish presentation that went horribly. But never mind that.
Through my very brief stint of being pregnant, one of the most consistent symptoms I’ve felt is cramping. At first it was just like period cramping, which I was told is totally normal. However, occasionally I now have times where I’m cramping, but it doesn’t feel like my period cramps. Period cramps are more of a dull pain for me, and these cramps are much more, well, painful. They go by quickly though, never lasting more than a minute or two, and sporadically coming throughout the day, and never accompanied by blood.
Soooo…. let the TMI begin… NOW.
So yesterday morning, I’m preparing for the wretched Spanish presentation, and I suddenly have to go the bathroom… and not just to pee, you know what I’m saying? So I go, and I wipe, and there’s a little bit of pink on the toilet paper. I. freaked. out. I emailed husband, who told me that if it was just one time and just a little bit of pink that it was nothing to be concerned about at this point, but to keep an eye on it. I calmed down a great deal, but then spent the next hour feeling cramps in my belly. The problem is, I couldn’t tell if they were cramps having to do with pregnancy, or GI cramps. I DID spend the next hour also running back and forth between the bathroom to uh… do my business. Way TMI. But whatever.
So after that morning, I felt better for the rest of the day. No more pink. No blood. Barely any, if at all, cramping.
I went to bed, and around 1am heard my dog doing that hacking, pre-puke dog thing. He was under our bed. Because he has a history of doing this, my first, instinctual, gut reaction is to jump out of bed, drag him out from under there and throw him in the bathroom. So that’s what I did. I got out of bed as fast as I could (very akin to “jumping”), got on my hands and knees, dragged him out- which he resisted, and threw (okay, placed gently) him in the bathroom. As soon as I finished, I remembered that I’m pregs and immediately regretted it when my stomach felt ALL kinds of cramped up and uncomfortable- like I jostled my insides a little too much with the jumping out of bed and dragging my dog out from under there. I laid back in bed curled up, waiting for the painful cramping to subside, and said to husband, “I don’t think I should do that anymore.” I wasn’t sure what the cramping was coming from exactly but then I suddenly noticed that I was kind of gassy (so unladylike of me to share, no?), and relieving it kind of made my stomach feel better.
This morning, things are feeling alright and there has been no more pink or anything since the one time yesterday morning.
So the moral of this story is I’m panicking. I’m all kinds of panicking. And at first when the cramps just felt like period cramps and I read that was normal, I was fine, but now that there are times when the cramping is more pronounced and sharp I get worried. And then, I can’t tell the difference between GI cramping and uterine cramping. And I’m just one big hot mess.
I know I’m probably overreacting. I know I likely sound crazy. But it’s so early, and I’m still so worried that something is going to go wrong. And this is the one thing that I’m genuinely concerned about since I don’t know exactly what the newer cramps are (the ones that don’t feel like my period). I just needed to get out my worries, and honestly, I feel a tad better after writing them out.
But I can assure you, I won’t be jumping out of bed to drag my dog to the bathroom when he’s heaving. I won’t be running to my house from next door to catch the FedEx man (yeah, I did this last Friday and some cramping ensued afterwards which sent me into a panic then). I just need to chill out and not do stuff that’s going to send me into a panic if cramping follows it. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.